This Therapist Taught Me a New Way to Heal—and It Changed Everything
For so long, I believed healing meant finally silencing the negative thoughts in my head. I thought I just had to reach this imagined point of clarity—where doubt no longer existed, pain had no hold on me, and my confidence was unshakeable. I convinced myself that healing was a destination, and if I could just get there, everything would be okay, and I’d be whole.
In this week’s episode of Normalize The Conversation, Elizabeth Winkler, LMFT, gently shattered that illusion—and planted a new seed in me.
Healing isn’t about getting rid of anything. It’s about coming back to ourselves. Learning to soften, to speak to ourselves with love, in our own voice—not the one that was planted by someone else shaped by invalidation, pressure, or shame. Not a voice full of “buts” or “shoulds,” instead a voice grounded in compassion.
Elizabeth reminded me that we’re all still learning how to walk. Healing isn’t a straight line—and there’s no finish line. Every day, we’re learning how to speak, how to rest, how to trust, how to be human again. That doesn’t mean we’re doing it wrong. It means we’re human—experiencing each moment for the very first time.
I AM. I CAN. I WILL. I DO.
She also introduced me to a grounding mantra: I AM. I CAN. I WILL. I DO.
Those four statements have become more than affirmations to me—they’re a bridge back to myself. After everything I’ve lived through, there are still moments when I question if I’m enough. I doubt my worth, my capability, and my strength. And this mantra reminds me that I can return to myself. When the inner noise gets loud, it brings me back to the present with calm and clarity.
Doubt doesn’t have to take over. I am. I can. I will. I do. It’s a powerful reminder that I’ve done hard things before—and I can again. It shifts me out of fear and into grounded action, rooted in possibility.
Because this practice has had such a profound impact on me, I share it with my clients. Just this week, one of them told me—unprompted—that something has started to change for them. They’ve begun to remember, in difficult moments, to pause and repeat “I am. I can. I will. I do.” And that one small shift is helping them reclaim their power, too.
W.E.A.K. — Welcome Energy And Kindness.
Another one of the most powerful moments for me was her reframe of the word “weak.” W.E.A.K. — Welcome Energy And Kindness.
Growing up, I was taught to hide my pain so no one would see me as weak. I thought strength meant pushing through no matter how heavy the pain felt. Then Elizabeth shared this reframe, and I saw a new world open for me: What if “weak” wasn’t a flaw, what if it was an invitation? What if the moments I used to shame myself for were opportunities to slow down, welcome what I feel, and meet it with kindness?
What if we welcomed what we feel? What if we met it with kindness instead of resistance? That’s where the true strength is. Not in suppressing, but in allowing.
If you’re on your own heart-healing journey, please remember:
You’re allowed to not have it all figured out. You’re not a problem to be solved, you’re a human being doing the best you can. That’s more than enough. Your worth is not tied to your knowing.
You’re not weak for feeling deeply. It means you care. Allow yourself to stay present with it instead of suppressing it.
You’re not behind. You’re learning how to walk, every moment you’re experiencing for the first time. Offer yourself compassion instead of judgment.
This episode reminded me that healing isn’t about becoming someone new. It’s about remembering who I’ve always been.
Listen to “Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Heart: A Guide To Presence” with Elizabeth Winkler — now streaming wherever you get your podcasts.
