When’s Your Unbreakable Day? Reframing Trauma Into Strength and Survival
When Naseem Rochette told me she celebrates the day she was run over as her Unbreakable Day—not the day she almost died, but the day she survived—I felt something shift inside me. I had spent years dreading the anniversaries of my own darkest moments, spiraling back into the exact depressive thoughts that once nearly swallowed me whole. What if those dates didn’t have to be markers of defeat? What if they could be holidays of survival, gratitude, and fierce, quiet celebration?
That idea changed my relationship to my past. It changed how I show up for myself now.
From Anniversary of Loss to Holiday of Survival
For seven years, as those anniversaries approached, I was transported back into that old, cramped room of hopelessness. My brain would replay the same fears, the same shame, the same belief that I was broken beyond repair. Those days felt heavy—like I was carrying the weight of the past on my chest all over again.
Naseem asked a single, radical question: What if you celebrated instead?
What if, instead of mourning a moment, you honored every single day that came after it?
So I started to try. I gave myself permission to mark those days differently—by naming them, by lighting a candle, by doing something small that felt like life: a walk, a call to someone I love, a quiet journal entry that said, simply, I am still here.
One small reframe: one enormous shift.
Kintsugi: Gold in the Cracks
Naseem also taught me about kintsugi—the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with gold. Instead of hiding the crack, kintsugi highlights it, making the piece more beautiful and more valuable for what it has been through. That image lodged itself in my chest.
My attempts felt like cracks. For a long time I viewed them as shameful breaks that proved I was “less than.” But kintsugi challenged me to see the opposite: the cracks are where the gold goes. Those moments are part of my story, not the end of it. They make me more real, more relatable, and yes, more whole—because whole doesn’t mean never broken. Whole means learning to hold the broken pieces with care, and sealing them with honor.
The places you thought made you less are where your light gets in.
Letting Go of Anger, Embracing the Journey
This conversation forced me to look at all the anger and resentment I’d been clutching—anger at how others treated me, anger at the world that felt unsafe. Holding onto that anger had only kept the past alive. Reframing my anniversaries and embracing the kintsugi way of healing asked something different: let go of the parts that keep you stuck, and make room for the parts that help you grow.
That’s not about forgetting. It’s about choosing where to put your energy. Instead of expending it on replaying pain, I started to spend it on rebuilding: small acts of self-compassion, therapy sessions where I learned tools to regulate my nervous system, and daily rituals that remind me I’m worthy of joy.
Practical Takeaways from the Episode (and My Life)
Here are the tools that have helped me—and that Naseem and I talked about—that you can start using today:
Name the day differently. Pick a name for your “survival day” — Unbreakable Day, Renewal Day, Gift Day — and treat it like a small holiday.
Ritualize the moment. Light a candle, write a letter to your future self, make a playlist that reminds you you survived.
Celebrate the journey, not the fracture. Like kintsugi, honor the mending. Speak about your healing with gentle pride.
Find therapy that fits. A therapist who understands trauma can help you reframe and integrate painful experiences into something survivable and meaningful.
Anchor in routine. Sleep, movement, and connection are tiny acts that become the scaffolding of resilience.
Ask for help early. Reaching out before things feel unbearable is not weak — it is strategic and brave.
Survival isn’t a silence — it’s a series of brave, loud little choices.
Words of Encouragement (Take Them With You)
You are not defined by your worst day.
Your life after the break is worthy of celebration.
It’s okay to be proud of the pieces you’ve mended.
Healing looks different for everyone — this is your story, not a timeline.
You are here. That alone is evidence of strength.
A Small Invitation
When’s your Unbreakable Day? Mine are December 24 and March 24, and every day I choose to show up, to live, to find small pockets of joy. Reframing my past didn’t erase the pain—but it taught me how to honor survival with grace. It taught me to put gold in the seams.
If you want to hear more about this conversation, listen to my episode with Naseem Rochette on Normalize The Conversation. She will make you laugh, she will make you think, and she will hand you a map for turning trauma into testimony.
Your life is not an accident — it’s a miracle with a messy, beautiful history. Celebrate it.
Surviving Trauma: How Being Run Over 3 Times Led to Life-Changing Lessons with Naseem Rochette is available now on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and wherever you listen.
