You’re Not Alone: How to Cope When a Loved One Has a Mental Health Condition
I’ll never forget what it felt like to be twelve years old, carrying questions I did not know how to ask and feelings I didn’t know how to name. At that age, silence turned into self-harm. Later, I lost someone I loved to suicide. Those moments shaped me and still fuel my work today.
When I was younger, I had a loved one who struggled with mental health symptoms, such as emotional outbursts and unpredictability. There were days I felt like I was walking on eggshells. I did not understand what was happening, and I definitely did not know how to talk about it. The confusion and silence were heavy.
That is why this episode of Normalize The Conversation with Dr. Michelle Sherman and her mother, DeAnne Sherman, resonated so deeply with me. Their book, I’m Not Alone: A Teen’s Guide to Living with a Parent Who Has a Mental Illness or History of Trauma, is the resource I wish I had back then.
Here’s what I took away from our conversation and what I want every human, teen, parent, and educator to know.
Did I Cause My Loved One’s Mental Health Condition?
This reminder needs to be shouted from the rooftops: no one else’s mental health condition is your fault.
When I was younger, I carried guilt, thinking maybe if I had been easier, quieter, better, things would be different. But the truth is, mental health conditions are not caused by a messy bedroom or imperfect grades. It is not caused by you.
If you are carrying that weight, hear me clearly: You are not to blame. You are enough, exactly as you are.
Can I Fix a Loved One’s Mental Health Condition? Why It’s Not Your Responsibility
This one is tough because when someone you love is struggling, all you want to do is make it go away. I know that feeling too well. I tried to carry burdens that were never mine to carry.
But as the Shermans reminded us, it’s not your responsibility to fix someone else’s pain. Yes, you can be supportive, kind, and helpful at home. But healing belongs to professionals, treatment, and recovery, not to you.
Your job is to be the best version of yourself, to live, grow, and dream big. Your future matters. Your life matters. You matter.
Coping Strategies for Individuals Living With a Loved One’s Mental Health Condition
What gave me hope in this episode was how practical the advice was. Michelle laid out simple, research-backed strategies for resilience:
Consistent sleep (seriously, it changes everything)
Healthy eating and movement to fuel your body and mind
Limiting isolation and staying connected offline
Finding meaning and purpose (big or small)
Asking for help early instead of waiting until things feel impossible
These aren’t “one-size-fits-all” fixes, but they are tools, anchors that help teens protect their own mental health while living in a complicated home environment.
If you are a family member reading this: your mental health deserves care too.
Why Talking About Loved Ones With Mental Health Conditions Matters To Me
As someone who has lived through suicide attempts, hospitalizations, and the loss of a loved one, I know how heavy silence can be. I also know how life-saving it is when someone finally says: You are not alone. It is okay to ask for help. You matter.
This is why I created Normalize The Conversation. It is why Inspiring My Generation exists. Because no one should feel like they have to navigate a loved one’s mental health condition—or their own—without support.
A Reminder For You: You Are Not Alone
If you are a loved one of someone struggling, reading this: please, hold on to these truths. You did not cause your loved one’s mental illness. You cannot cure it. And, you can build a life that feels meaningful, connected, and hopeful.
If you’re a parent or educator: speak the words out loud. Let the children in your life know they are not to blame, and remind them that their role is to live, grow, and thrive.
And to anyone carrying silence right now: breaking it is scary, and it’s also the first step toward freedom.
If this resonates, I hope you’ll listen to my conversation with Dr. Michelle & DeAnne Sherman on Normalize The Conversation. It’s honest and full of strategies that can change lives.
Because no one—especially our youth—should have to walk through this alone.
FAQs: Coping With a Loved One’s Mental Health Condition
-
Start by remembering: You did not cause it, and you cannot cure it. Focus on self-care strategies like healthy sleep, connection, purpose, and asking for help early. Building resilience is possible, even in difficult home environments.
-
Guilt is common, but it is misplaced. You are not responsible for your loved one’s mental health. Your role is to take care of yourself, live your life, and seek support when you need it.
-
Trusted adults (teachers, coaches, relatives), school counselors, peer support groups, and mental health professionals can all be lifelines. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
-
You are not alone. You are not to blame. And your future is still bright and full of possibility.
You matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters.
Breaking the Silence: How Teens Can Cope with a Parent’s Mental Illness with Dr. Michelle & DeAnne Sherman is available now on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and wherever you listen.
